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Out! (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Out! (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction) Synopsis Squidward works his hardest for the removal of Spongebob & Patrick from the neighborhood. Characters Spongebob Squarepants Squidward Tentacles Patrick Star Gary The Snail Housing Agent Agent's Secretary Jellyfish Police Officer The Story The story begins inside Squidward's bathroom. Squid exits the shower after taking a nice long bubble bath. SQUIDWARD: I smell good! Squidward finishes shaving some blue facial hair with his razor, sprays the bathroom after using the toilet and then lights a scented candle. Squidward descends his stairs and is about to get some English Muffins for breakfast when suddenly.. BANG!!! SQUIDWARD: What the?!! Squidward rushes to his third floor gallery windows to see Patrick struggling with a forklift. Squidward facepalms and then kicks his window open. SQUIDWARD: PATRICK!!! BANG!!!! PATRICK: SIZZLED FREZZY?!! Uh what? Oh hey Squidward! Don’t mind me! I’m just using this forklift I got from my Dad to put in a jacuzzi in my yard! SQUIDWARD: That's my dumpster and also my yard! Dope! PATRICK: Ohhhhhhhh…. that explains why this land and jacuzzi smell like cowfish manure. Squidward hops out of his window. SQUIDWARD: For saying that! I’m going to pummel you with my gardening tools! Squidward rushes for Patrick but then bumps into Spongebob who finishes digging a hole. SPONGEBOB: Okay Patrick! The hole is big enough for your jacuzzi! And yours too Gary! GARY: Meow Meow Spongebob along with Patrick & Gary are suddenly grabbed and propped up against Patrick's rock by a fuming Squidward. SQUIDWARD: I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE!!!! Spongebob & Patrick examine Squidward's head. PATRICK(thinking he's talking about hair): But you’re bald. Squidward facepalms again. SQUIDWARD: NO!! I mean’t that I have had it with you two morons and your stupid snail! Everyday it is something! Yesterday Spongebob ordered a bunch of Hug N Stuff bears but the mailmen accidentally had them all delivered to my house! SPONGEBOB: And I got them back and they rock! SQUIDWARD: Gary ate the enchalattas I cooked for my mother and later expelled them all over my carrots! Gary tries to hold in a snicker having no remorse over that. SQUIDWARD: And Patrick decided to throw a party last night! That only consisted of him!! PATRICK: Crazy stuff! SQUIDWARD: NO MORE!!!! This neighborhood and I emphasize that this neighborhood USED to be peaceful! This was when the first George Bush became president, before the computer came out and before 1999! And it is coming back! TODAY!! Spongebob & Patrick look at each other. PATRICK: George Bush is running for president again? SQUIDWARD: Bah!! Squidward gets on his recumbent bicycle and bikes off. SPONGEBOB: It's probably Clinton that's running again. PATRICK: Oh got ya. Gary rolls his eyes at Spongebob & Patrick's stupidity. The scene cuts to a hosuing agent filing some paperwork at the housing market. Squidward is shown sitting on a chair peacefully waiting for an answer. The agent finishes. AGENT: Mr. Squidward Quincy Tentacles, when did you move into your house you currently live in? SQUIDWARD: January 17, 1989 AGENT: Does your house come with a warranty? SQUIDWARD: It did,.. until my third cousin stole it at my bachelor's party many years ago. AGENT: Any housing issues? SQUIDWARD: Nope, not as of recent. The agent signs the final document. AGENT: So tell me, why are you looking to have these residents evicted? SQUIDWARD: I already told you, they are hopeless morons that probably are lovebirds for each other and have no idea how to grow up. Its time to make my neighborhood great again! AGENT: Donald Trump fan? SQUIDWARD: I hate Donald Trump… AGENT: Okay Mr. Tentacles, according to your quota, we technically can not evict people until they commit a real offense. All you have listed is that these people have blown bubbles.. SQUIDWARD: That exploded into my retinas forcing eyeball flushes! AGENT: You can clean soap out of your eyes, its not major. Also, you said that there is a pet snail that invades your premises. SQUIDWARD: Yeah! It's a disgusting slug as well. AGENT: We deal with houses & other expenses, animal control deals with pets. Squidward gulps since his arguments are becoming invalid. AGENT: And your home is invaded? SQUIDWARD: Yes! 62 times! A DAY! AGENT: Was anything stolen? SQUIDWARD: Well uh……. no. AGENT: Unless if you want to talk to the cops, that is otherwise not bad then if no robbery was committed. SQUIDWARD: Oh believe me, I talked to the cops many times! And they still make fun of me! AGENT: Well sorry Mr.Tentacles, but unless if you get a real offense reported, I otherwise can not help your issue. Good day sir. The agent leaves escorted by his secretary who hands him a kelp soda. Squidward exits the housing market and kicks a trash can over angrily. SQUIDWARD: Stupid housing agent! I’ll show that coward that these morons must leave the neighborhood immediately! Time to get some English muffins first though. The scene cuts to Patrick Star watching football on his TV using a satellite. Squidward crawls on top of the rock. SQUIDWARD: Since this agent won’t evict these beasts of burden through offense, then they must be evicted by poor house management! Oops! Squidward cuts the satellite's connection with bolt cutters. Patrick's TV turns to static. He spits out some cheese fries he was eating. PATRICK: WHAT THE?! Hey!! I was about to see a touchdown! Squidward snickers when he overhears Patrick's anger. He then stops when he sees smaller rocks being thrown at the satellite. Patrick is doing it. PATRICK: Stupid piece of tin! WORK!! After two more rocks knock the satellite into a working hotspot, a third rock accidentally hits Squidward in the face knocking him down for the count. ANNOUNCER(from Patrick's reconnected TV): Touchdown Bikini Bottom! PATRICK: YAY!!!!!! You suck Sealand! Patrick goes back inside to watch the game. SQUIDWARD: Ouch The scene transitions to Spongebob sitting at his kitchen table making some origami. SPONGEBOB(making an elephant): Lalalalalalaaa! Squidward observes from outside. SQUIDWARD: Windows sure are dirty, oh my bad, just these ones! Squidward begins egging the windows getting Spongebob's attention. Spongebob opens his back door and is also pelted with raw eggs. SPONGEBOB: HELP!!!! AAAH! SQUIDWARD: Leave this property!! Spongebob retreats back inside and Squidward finishes egging the house. SQUIDWARD: Aha! The house suddenly has all the eggy mess sucked off clean. SQUIDWARD: WHAT?! Squidward suddenly hears a click and turns to see Gary armed with an egg gun. Squidward picks up some materials. SQUIDWARD: Stay back snail! I got gardening tools! Gary, unfazed, avenges Spongebob by pelting Squidward with his own carton of eggs which are rotten and reek horribly. SQUIDWARD: Aahaghhaghh!!! Squidward bumps into his fence and then falls into a nest of small jellyfish. SQUIDWARD: Uh oh. The jellyfish sting a screaming Squidward into a red gum drop. Patrick bursts out of his rock in excitement and bursts right into Spongebob's house. PATRICK: SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!! Spongebob finishes cleaning the eggs off of him. SPONGEBOB: What Patrick?! PATRICK: We just beat Sealand! 24-20! We’re going to the bubble bowl! Oh we got to celebrate! Let's party naked! SPONGEBOB: YAY!!!! PATRICK: Hoot! Hoot! Gary slithers through his pet door in a superior air and following is a smelly & dirty Squidward with several jellyfish stings and other bruises. Squidward gets his tentacles ready and wants to strangle Spongebob & Patrick for what they put hin through. SQUIDWARD: Come here dopes! A knock is suddenly heard at the back door. Spongebob opens it to find the housing agent and a police officer. SQUIDWARD: Oh sweet justice! Evict & arrest these two meddling kids & their dumb snail before I am confined to a wheelchair. OFFICER: We ain’t here for them! SQUIDWARD: What do you mean? AGENT: According to our records you have not paid your bills & taxes in three months Mr. Tentacles. SQUIDWARD: That's not my fault! My boss never pays me! AGENT: I’m all about business, I don’t listen to sympathy. Cuff him. Squidward is handcuffed by the officer for tax evasion and is escorted to the police boat. Squidward is hauled away to jail. SQUIDWARD: I didn’t do anything!!!! The police boat with Squidward, the agent & the officer speed away into the sunset. PATRICK(stupidly): So George Bush is not running for president? Category:SquidwardTentacles35